Finding Mr. Right

http://vimeo.com/34762604


A friend of mine has been inviting me to her church. I haven't attended yet but I am prayerfully considering it. My blog entry today is based off a sermon from the pastor of Central Baptist. This sermon really spoke to me.

I am an impatient person. I have always rushed things. I have a hard time waiting, especially on God's plan. I am very impatient when it comes to my love life. I want to be in love, I want someone to love me the way I love them, and I want to be happy.I think that is why I jumped at the first chance I could to get married. Even though he was the complete opposite of what I was looking for, we fought a lot, he couldn't give me what I wanted and he knew this, and most importantly he was not living out God's calling for his life and at the time I wasn't either. We were completely incompatible but I was "in love". I think a lot of people have that problem these days they base everything off their feelings and rush things and I think that is partly why the divorce rate is as high as it is, even within the church.

A lot of my friends have been getting married lately. So this has made me even more impatient. While my friends are going off and getting married and living "happily ever after" I feel like I am in a constant waiting game. Not only in my love life but in life in general. I haven't gotten my degree yet, I am single, I currently don't have a job, and I have no idea where my life is going. But that is okay because I know God is working in me during this waiting game. And he will give me patience.

God commissioned Adam to lead. He gave Adam the authority to name all of the animals and to name eve. Before God gave Adam a wife, he gave him a purpose and a plan for his life. God created marriage to be a means of fulfilling his plan and purpose. Marriage needs to be based on principles not feelings. You don't need marriage to fulfill your desires his purpose is for us to follow his plan. Gods plan for us is to serve him and love him deeply. Find his calling our life whether that be going to college and getting a career, being in ministry fulltime, whatever it is we need to find our vocation. Then it may be God's purpose to join us in marriage with another person.

As women, we need to seek a man that is following God's purpose. This was my first mistake. I have made this mistake several times. I date nonchristians and think I am going to be able to change them or they will be able to change me, but that thinking is so wrong. When we start getting involved with a guy we need to ask ourselves is this man following God's call upon his life? Just like I would hope my future husband would ask that same question about me.Eve was created as a helper for Adam for Fulfilling God's plan. If the guy you are considering or dating doesn't have any convictions or no plan for following God's plan for his life, I would suggest you get out of it. I am going to follow this for now on. I haven't in the past but I am going to now. I am still confused about God's plan for my life and my life is a bit chaotic right now. I am trying to figure out God's calling on my life. I am nowhere near ready for marriage. It hurts but it's true. That's why God is having me wait.

God taught Adam about spiritual compatability. Some people are not meant to be. That is what happened in my case. If God is not the center then it is not right and you should get out. God was not the center. God had no part in the relationship I was in. And if God is not in it then it is not right. I had to learn the hard way and I should've walked away from the relationship way before I did. Compatiblity in relationships is essential. Physical, cultural/racial, emotional, mental, and recreational compatibility are important but not essential Spiritual Compatiblity is essential. God tells us we shouldn't marry outside of our religious background because more than likely they will turn you away from your faith. God won't bless your marriage if he is not the center and you are not following his plan. What does a believer have in common with a nonbeliever? Nothing. So when it comes to relationships and marriage you need to be with someone who has the same beliefs as you. If you are not prepared to live with that person as they are right now with no change in the next 50 years don’t get married. If you think you are going to be able to date a nonchristian and change them when you get married more than likely it won't happen.

Compatibility must be a present reality. Ask yourself some of these questions. Do they pray alot? Do they attend church regularly? Is there faith evident in their life? Are they open about their faith? How about past relationships? Have they been faithful in the past? Have they been in and out of relationships? What's their track record? Are they responsible with money? Irresponsible with money? What are their emotions? Do they suffer from depression? Are they happy? Do they have joy? Are they dependent on alcohol?Does he handle his sexual desires? If he wont take no for an answer now then how do u know he will take no later? If you are a Christian thinking about marrying a man with no intent of having a relationship with Christ then you should reconsider.

We don't get married to become complete. I struggle with this. I always felt like part of me was missing and one day I would meet that "special someone" who would complete me. Truth is only God can complete me. If I feel empty or feel like I am not whole then I am not letting God fill me and I need to let him work in my life. Colossians 2:9 Talks about how Adam wasn't incomplete without the rib that God took to make Eve. We will never find completion in other people. We will find completion in God and God alone. We don't complete them but we definitely compliment them. I want to find affirmation in Christ. For the last four years I have desired the affection of a man and feel incomplete when I am not in a relationship or getting attention from a man. I can find completion in Jesus Christ without being married. I desire to be married someday. I hope that God has a plan for me to get married in the future. I can only hope, pray, prepare myself, and wait.

God is in control of the when in our lives. I struggle with this alot. I like to be in control of things. That is how I got engaged and rushed my life. I wanted to be in control. I had a perfect picture of what my life should be and tried to make it that way. I ended up being empty, cheated on, alone, and farther away from God then I had ever been. Adam didn't have any control over the timing. Just like I don't have any control on the timing of if and when I will meet my future spouse.

There is a process involved. Romans 5:6, “For while we were still helpless at the right time Christ died for the ungodly”. Galatians 4:4,“But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth his son..”God has a purpose for this "waiting game". Even though I get impatient I have to remember that God is working on me during this time. I may get married a year from now, 5 years from now, maybe even longer but God is using this time. My life doesn't start when I get married. It has already started and I need to start living. Maybe God's purpose in this waiting is for me to get out of the debt I am in, get back into school and finish my education, working on character traits still such as having patience, and finding out his plan for my life. I know he has a plan in all this waiting. So when I get impatient and feel like I am going to be alone forever I need to take a step back and remember that God is working in my life and I must let him work in my life instead of me taking control. When I am in control nothing goes right. I want him to be in control of my life and my decisions. I need to let him work in me so I will be ready. It will be unexpected but God will bring that person into my life when I give up my search, give up my control, follow his plan, and wait for his timing.

Sorry this got a bit long. I used bits and pieces from the Sermon and put my own thoughts and reactions to it.

Gigi