I have been a little distant from my beloved lately. I've been a little distant with everyone. I am a little frustrated. I want confirmation on what God wants to do in my life. Whether I should continue with school at the university center, go to southeast tech and do the LPN program until I get in an RN program, or take a semester off and go do an internship at IHOP in Kansas City, Missouri. I keep asking for confirmation and I am waiting so patiently but I am a lil frustrated. I am also exhausted from work. I am helping out with swimming lessons and working everyday so I am a little overwhelmed but it's okay. I know that God has been trying to speak to me. For instance, today while I was aiding the toddler/preschool group at lifeguarding I had to help a girl who had downs syndrome. She is the cutest little thing. I love her. She usually hates getting in the water. But today she was jumping in, splashing, giggling, blowing bubbles in the water, and doing everything she previously hated. This was so cute to watch. I was laughing and smiling the whole time. This was a blessing to me. God was shining his love down on me. He was filling me with so much joy, joy that I haven't felt since I posted my last post on here. I've been asking God to fill my lonliness and brokenness and just give me pure joy. He gave me pure joy today. I was so very grateful that I got to help with this little girl. She has blessed my life tremondously and she doesn't even know it. Her mom has also blessed me. She was so very kind to me and was telling me how much her daughter loved me and saw my sweet and gentle heart.This almost brought tears to my eyes. So I may not have gotten any confirmation on my future plans but I did get confirmation once again that Jesus loves me and he is here for me and he loves to fill me and give me the desires of my heart. I want my life to be an outpour of Gods love. I want to love people. That is my desire. I want to love and live for Christ and love people. God you never seize to amaze me. You are awesome, powerful, amazing, faithful, and so many other things. Words cannot describe you. I am in awe of you and am so sad that for the past week I have distanced myself from you. I should draw near to you. You are all that I have. You will never forsake me or leave me and I need to remember that. I shouldn't just push you away when times get rough. Thank you for your faithfulness and showing me I need to be more faithful.
His beloved,
Grace
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