Chivalry Lives

I am taking this from a sermon I heard last week at Central Baptist. It really spoke to me and I feel called to share this with you. The man who shared the sermon is Jeff Wheeler who is the lead pastor at Central. I am sharing bits of the sermon and then putting my thoughts into them.

When you think of Chivalry what do you think? Do you think of the ‘50s? Or things older generations did? Do you believe chivalry is dead? Do you believe it lives? If it lives today, what does it look like?

The definition of Chivalry is: The methods of training and standards of behavior for knights in the middle ages. The code of chivalry emphasized bravery, military skill, generosity in victory, piety, and courtesy to women.

Ephesians 5:28-29 says, “So husbands ought also to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless each individual among you also is love to his own wife even as himself..”

The first point is to be married is to be intimately connected with your spouse. Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. The husband is the head and the wife is the body. The head cannot function without the body and the body cannot function without the head. The head and body work together to function properly. Marriage is an ultimate sport. You have to communicate and work as a team or the connection will fail and the marriage will die. In the same way, men need to listen to their head but they also need to consider the feelings of their bodies (wives) when it comes to making decisions so they can move forward and have an effective marriage.
I know I am a single woman I am in no way shape or form really able to give married couples marriage advice. But I know that without communication and teamwork marriage would be really hard, and quite impossible. This point doesn’t just talk to married couples. It also speaks about Christ and to the Church. Christ is the head and should be the center of our lives. We are the body of Christ. As the body we should be able to communicate with our creator, our leader, and our head. Just like couples should be able communicate intimately and connect intimately, us as the body of Christ should be intimately connected to our maker. He pursues us. Like a gentlemen should. Like husbands should do even after they are married to their wives. Pursue her daily. Just like Christ pursues us daily. That’s chivalrous. Love her as much as you love yourself.

The second point is Physical Abuse is a violation of the marriage covenant. Abuse goes against God’s plan. Intentionally injuring your body is a violation of how God created you. And abusing your wife physically is a violation of how God created marriage. Abuse of any kind is illogical, irrational, unacceptable, goes against the way we were made. If a guy you like, are seeing, dating, married to whatever, if he abuses you in any way seriously consider getting out of the relationship. We are princesses. God made us beautiful, lovely, smart, comforters, caretakers, and irresistible to men. God wants his princesses to be pursued loved, cared for like he cares for the church. He doesn’t want us being abused. Speaking from experience, I haven’t been married but I almost married a man who was not only physically abusive but controlling, manipulative, mentally, and emotionally abusive. God answered a lot of prayers and got me out of that relationship. I am very thankful. Abuse is not God’s plan.

The husband is to be the primary provider for his family. Deep within the masculine DNA is the God given desire to nourish and cherish their wives. As a single, when I go on dates or consider dating a guy I need to look at if he is not in a position to provide for a family I should either keep dating him but take it slow and wait, or end the relationship. I have to be able to be with a man who can provide for a family someday. Couples that are dating the guys should pay for the dinner and if a guy cannot afford to buy don’t go out. Men should prioritize their spending. God wants women to be cherished even if that means the guy pays. If the woman offers to pay then awesome she is blessing you, but you should never ask her to pay. Men should get used to being the providers for their woman and their family. Most say oh this is just old fashioned now, feminism destroyed this outlook. No it didn’t unless you let it. This isn’t dead nor is it old fashioned. Just as a husband should nourish his wife, Christ the head will nourish his bride which is the body of Christ.

In 1st Peter 3:7 “You husbands in the same way live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker since she is the woman..” The bible does say women are weaker. It does not say we aren’t equal partners in marriage, doesn’t mean men should take advantage of women or think they have the upper hand. What it does mean is men are the leaders of the household and wives are to be submissive to their husband. This leads us into the last point. Chivalry is a part of God’s plan. As men, God calls husbands to honor their wives when they serve them with their strength. Men are to protect and guard their wives, gfs, mothers, children, etc. God calls men to protect women. To honor, cherish, and nurture their wives. Whether that means doing the dishes for your wife or holding a door open for a girl you are on a date with. Respect women. God calls men to be chivalrous. He wants men to cherish and honor women. So to answer the question is chivalry really dead? It definitely isn’t. I believe sex outside of marriage may have tainted chivalry a little but it is not dead.

I believe that God just really spoke to me through this sermon. I know I am not a married woman, not even close but God did speak through this sermon. He spoke to me about what I should be looking for in a mate, what I should not be looking for, that respectful men do exist even when they seem rare in a sex driven culture like ours, and that I should seek men who want to cherish me not tear me down. I want to be intimately connected not only to my maker but to my future hubby someday, I want to stay clear of abuse and know the warning of signs of abuse and listen to God when a relationship needs to end, seek a man who knows that he needs to be the primary provider for my household, and that I should seek a man who wants to nourish and cherish me someday.

Be encouraged.

His beloved,
Gigi