I am moving on. I will no longer settle. I will guard my heart. I have failed so many times at doing this. I get too attached. I get too involved. I let my emotions take control of me. I love the feeling of being "in love". In the end it hurts me. I am fooled. I feel foolish. I feel broken. I feel used. I feel hurt. I am broken. But Jesus is holding me. He will pick the pieces up and put me together. I have to let him put me back together. I have to move on from looking for a guy to care for me. I get soo lonely. Usually when I become best friends with a guy I end up falling for them and this causes problems. This causes emotional damage. I am just looking for guy friends that I can call my brothers and will help guard my heart. I am sick of letting my heart be broken, trampled over, and I am sick of being used. I just want to scream. I am so upset. I thought I was guarding my heart. But I guess I wasn't guarding it enough because I am left with this emptiness, brokenness, sadness, lonliness, and I feel abandoned. I know that I am not though. Jesus is holding my hand. He's comforting me. He is telling me everything will be okay, even though it feels like nothing is okay right now. I am going to put walls up. Whoever Jesus has planned to be with me will have to break these walls down. I am not opposed to dating. I am opposed to being hurt by people who don't respect me and don't care about my heart. I am frustrated. I just want to throw something. I want to cry. I need a hug. I have my self to blame. But I don't feel like I deserve to be treated like dirt. I am a princess of the most high king. I should not be eating crumbs on the floor but should be feasting on the king's cake. I am only going to let guys who deserve to know me into my life. I am moving on from settling. From settling for temporary satisfactions of this world. I dserve the best. I deserve to be treated like a princess. No more settling.
His beloved,
Grace
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